Use positive language as much as possible with your children !!!!
If you want less stress and better behaviour, you can avoid most back-talk, tantrums, and daily power struggles just by using positive language. Positive language clearly shows your children what you want them to stop doing and what you’d like for them to do instead.
This can be difficult to master, especially on those bad days where you are stressed and overworked yourself, but take a deep breath and put more thought into your reactions.
Here are a few ways that you can reframe typical negative phrases into positive ones:
- Stop running in the house –> Please walk in the house, I wouldn’t want you to have an accident. If you want to run, let’s go in the garden.
- Don’t take your sister’s toys –> Can you please find something else to play with until she’s done?
- Stop yelling –> Please use your inside voice, there’s no need to shout.
- No throwing balls in the house –> You can take the ball outside to play if you’d like.
- No hitting –> Be gentle please, use your gentle hands.
- Stop Whining –> Please use your words so I can hear you.
- Don’t throw sand -> Would you like to fill this bucket with sand?
- Don’t even think about running, I’m watching you! –> I’m so glad to see you remembering to walk safely down the hall, well done.
Positive reinforcement creates a positive culture within the house environment. Pre-empt situations by planning ahead and giving your children things to do when you know you will be busy doing other things.
Using positive language around your children gives them clear guidance about what good behaviour means to you without making them feel confused or bad about themselves. It may be difficult to master but it will also mean a much easier and stress-free time for you too as they grow into the fantastic adults that you know they can be!